“If you follow this plan step-by-step you will be guaranteed success.”
I have bought into that pitch more times than I want to recall. Now I’m much more skeptical of its assertion. Following directions and paying attention to details are definitely two of my strengths, I’ve had success following plans step-by-step. The problem I keep bumping up against is that it’s not possible for me to maintain that rigor of attention forever and I start to gradually slip in my level of success. Then I notice that my perfect efforts, process, success, etc. is not perfect after all. It doesn’t matter if it has to do with weight loss, lesson planning, reading, decorating, organizing, or writing a blog post, as soon as I deviate a bit things start crashing down around me. At least that’s how it feels.
My head tells me that if I do everything I’m supposed to do all will turn out as I want. My head also tells me that if I DON’T do everything I’m supposed to do not only will it not turn out as I want, but also I don’t deserve to have it work out because I failed the plan. I allow my lack of perfection to derail me and send me back to where I started. Why? Why do I do that?!
One area of my life that I have experienced great joy and success while embracing its inherent lack of perfection is performing on stage. There I can accept and allow the imperfection of being human to coexist with the high standards and efforts I practice to be an authentic, accomplished performer – with the proper preparation it’s perfectly acceptable to allow myself to be who and what I am at that very moment.
If I imagine my life as a beautiful tapestry with unusual threads running through it I need to keep my focus on the whole object and not fuss and pull on the threads that don’t seem to fit it the right way. Placing my focus and energy on the unusual thread will only make me pull on it too hard and perhaps destroy what is truly beautiful about the entire piece of art. Breaking those threads will weaken the whole tapestry. The whole is much more important and meaningful than those few threads.
I can see and feel those unusual threads throughout almost every aspect of my life, it’s time I stopped pulling on them. My intention: Preparation without Perfection.
Today was my last morning workout in the peaceful light of our Christmas tree. I’m sad that we needed to take it down. I loved working out in the dark morning by the light of just the tree. So beautiful. So comforting. It was a lovely start to my day.
My routine has been to do my yoga practice first thing in the morning – another beautiful, comforting, and peaceful way to start my day. My Weight Watchers leader introduced me to a fantastic yoga program that she found on YouTube – Yoga with Adriene (http://yogawithadriene.com/). I love it! I’m currently doing her “30 Days of Yoga” program from 2015. I love how my body is feeling. I feel more centered and I’m finding that there are times during the day that I can focus on my breathing and it makes a difference to me whether I feel in or out of control. Yoga is one of the things that I love and make time to do for myself.
Yoga by twinkling Christmas lights is fantastic. The Christmas tree needed to be put away until next year, but the yoga can and will stay out all year-long. My Weight Watchers leader commented that twinkle lights can be used all year – no Christmas tree required. That sounds like a fabulous idea to me!
I’ve been absent for a while. Why? I have many excuses but truthfully it’s because I didn’t have the time or energy to do it perfectly. HA! My performance background has taught me in no uncertain terms that there is no such thing as perfection and that if there were it would not be worth anyone’s time to appreciate it. I can completely accept that as a singer and I even teach my young students that they should embrace making mistakes because it makes them smarter and more interesting, but personally, when I’m not on stage singing, I struggle with my desire for perfection.
It’s time I focus on overcoming this annoying and unhelpful waste of my time and psyche. So here I am. I am writing this blog for ME. The only perfection it will hold is that it will speak what is in my head and heart. Am I hungry or should I sing? I’m highly suspecting that the answer to the question is that I should sing. When I sing – in performance – I go to a place that is abundant in feeling and expression, I can let go of the hours spent practicing and seemingly fly into a magical place of communicating. My emotions are honest and sincere and IT FEELS SO GOOD. I relax just thinking about it.
It seems that it’s time to sing!